random thoughts.of loneliness

friends. why? help, support, comfort? trust? how. pain, dissappointment, betrayal, grief. is it worth it? lies. anger. but, every now and then...love, strength, truth, sacrifice. are these the reason for the pain? why aren't friends eternal, or are they? is it better to be alone, and not be hurt, or does the hurt make the company worth it. aren't friends supposed to uplift you? but eventually they hurt you too. confusion, understanding, pain, and love. how can different emotions reside in the same spot. which is stronger? which to magnify? how can you have more friends when the old ones will always dissappear? why trust anymore? where is the ultimate friend that will be there forever? buried? unloving? is it me? probably. what other reason can there be? everyone finds their eternal friend and leaves the others behind. why? don't they see the hurt this can cause. why do we not take the time for others? travel, expense, time? what happened to sacrifice? what happened to love? just some musings of my fears that scare me, of course that's what fears are...because i am not married, my friends are my greatest treasures that i cling to, because i hate to be alone. and somehow i still feel alone. this isn't a cry for pity or comfort, it's just a release of the emotions that i feel, and things that are hard for me. i'm truly beginning to understand how the savior felt when He atoned for us in the garden of gethsamene. He asked His friends to be there for Him and they slept. His father was gone, He suffered for my pain. He was alone. HE knows my heart and my sorrow, for He truly experienced it. what a better comfort than my Saviour, and His love. thank you for being my friends in the moments of my life. truly, you are blessings of great worth, that i am eternally grateful for. alofa tele.